The Steven Hawkings Lookalike Convention

Gareth: Hello all, good news on the blog status, there seems to have been an abundance of new followers to this blog. From the looks of things The Steven Hawkings Lookalike Convention came across this page and they all must have thoroughly enjoyed and have joined. I can see this blog is reaching its intended intelligent audience.

Alice: Thanks for your post Frozzie, most of the time it's Gareth writing until he gets bored and I take over so it's a joint effort really. A lot of what Gareth writes though is not printable so has to be highly edited by me. Maybe you should imagine us reading it out to you in unison? We'll try and make it a bit clearer though.

Gareth: Penned on the 23^rd Sept (At Lake Indoon – which sounds like it should be in Scotland, although thinking about it when writing it just then, if it was in Scotland it would probably be called Loch Indoon, so it doesn’t really sound like it is Scotland at all)! Enough of these babbling contradictions.

Hope you are enjoying your autumn for those of you in the Northern hemisphere.  Are the days getting shorter and wetter while the nights get longer and colder? I think that’s the definition of Autumn? Well in three words to make you jealous with green hulk rage. ‘It is spring here!’

HULK SMASH!

And though we may have had a little pop at the bizarre Australian weather at first…  It (being the weather) comes round, and when it comes round, oh boy it comes round goooood!!!

Some people may ask “How can it be spring when it is autumn and autumn when it is spring?” Simple I say, we have visited Topsy Turvey Land – where you burp when you fart and you fart when you burp! I am literally writing this while wearing women’s clothing. It is mental here.

Being British I thought it appropriate to talk about the weather to begin with, and now onto tea.

I have had three cups today, none of them being loose leaf, not one silver service tea strainer in site, oh the horror!

So apologies if blog not flow like it been doing previously past, it’s cause I Tea!

Anywhooo, this blog shouldn’t be about the ramblings of a drunken baboon. It should be about the adventures of Alice down Gareth’s Rabbit hole.

And for I tell, turn the page, for this is where the story lie….

Page Turned…. ‘(Metaphorically)

19^th September – just realized there is loads to catch up on. Its going to be a 5 day mega blog. I can see the blog slipping into week blogs then month blogs as we go through the travels. If blog is too long let us know and I’ll just ignore you.

Anyway 19^th Sept

Bit tired today cause of the three cans of brown Emu booze we drank. (see end of last post) The cans were 375ml instead of the standard UK size of 330ml, which probably pushed us over the calculated edge! Set off to Carnarvon for a brief stop and refreshment then onto Coral Bay.  Unfortunately it was too windy to snorkel so Gareth chased seagulls for half an hour while Alice didn’t

There were a lot of dead Kangroo’s on road and the sad fact is that we see about 30 dead kanga’s to every live one. But on the plus side it did bring in a lot of BOP’s  as we like to call them, or Birds of Prey for us to feast our wildlife loving eyes on. As the birds were devouring the roo’s we were devouring the wedge tailed eagles with our eyes. Also saw a dead eagle as well, cause they gorge themselves on the roo’s so much that they can’t fly away when a truck comes. Anyway, to cut a long rather depressing story short Gareth has a lovely new three quarter length roo coat and an eagle hat (just like Jamiroquai)

Drove on to a campsite called Bullara Farm which was a small quarter million acres.. This was very dusty and the wind didn’t help. We got dust in our eyes and in our food, for the health conscious however, dust contains very few calories so this didn’t affect our weight too much. At the farm there was a small blonde girl there standing on a pile of bricks, covered in dust with no shoes on, Alice thinks this is probably exactly how Ang looked when she lived in Kalgoorlie.

There were lots of cows at Bullara Farm which were very close to our tent, this kept us awake mooost of the night, so we were udderly shattered in the morning. Butter bit of food, and a cup of tea with ‘milk’ sorted us out, we rubbed down our calves and ran away from all the hulabullu, Errrr? Hamburger?

This brings us very nicely onto the 20^th September

20^th September

Got away early and drove to Exmouth this is the furthest north we would travel in west Australia. Here is the Cape Range National Park, which was hot and windy, so we were wary of the weather dangers and threw on a load of suncream and hats and carried 3 litres of water. We may look young and pretty, but there are a few wise unburnt heads on these shoulders. Here we started the day by whale watching, as you do! At first we thought it be impossible to spot a whale in such a vast Indian ocean, but spot them we did. There must have been about 20, or 5 really fast whales playing a rather funny game. Under the sea we didn’t have a clue what was going on, they could have been lots of lobsters in one big whale fancy dress costume, but to us it was spectacular, and even if it were lobsters operating some sort of mechanical whale costume I would be equally impressed. The best Whale came right out of the water about 500m away from us and did a big belly flop. No lobster could create that effect without some heavy duty special FX. I’m not sure but I don’t think lobsters have that capability yet, correct me if I’m wrong.

We dragged ourselves away after a couple of hours knowing that there was a gorge walk trail just a couple of miles away in the Cape Range National Park. On the way we saw an emu with 8-9 emu babies (chicks). Awwwww. Thinking about it, Rod Hull’s arm was a successful contraceptive device, by the look of things Emu has been rather busy since Rod died.

The Mandu Mandu gorge walk was brilliant 5 mile hike round the craggy rock faces. Here we witnessed nature in its extreme. Alice was in her element. First we spotted the infamous endangered black-footed rock wallaby. Alice spent a good 10 min photographing these beasts, before something very unexpected happened, out of the corner of our ears we heard a faint leafy rumbling, and out he popped. I’ve never seen anything so large. It was a big (pardon my French) lizard. This engaged Alice for another 10 min of furious photo taking. We later found out this was called Varanus Giganteus (which I think means huge arse) or in normal language Perentie Lizard (a species of monitor lizard Alice has just shouted at me. I’m only right next to you love, calm down) Words cannot describe how big this lizard was – although a good start would be about 2m from top to tail. Have a look for yourselves (pictures not to scale)

After such a thrilling day I couldn’t bring myself to spend any money so we stayed at Lyndon river west area free camp costing zero aus dollars. Here we ate a questionable Irish stew and bread. Nothing like the lovely stew Eimear cooks for us. Very disappointing. So today wildlife good, food bad, with heavy wind.

Just realized I have been smashing away at this keyboard in this cramped tent for about an hour and a half and the battery aint gunna take it captain, she’s gunna blow. Indeed I said this would be a 5 day special mega post. But I have failed my lovely audience. I think I got carried away with all the gibberjabbering. Going to bed now. Will try and catch up with the rest tomorrow night. Goodnight mon amis, the sleeping bag becons.

Bog Off!

A and G xxxx